How I’ve Kept Golf in the Rotation as a New Dad

By Dave · Golf · showingupdad.com

I’ll be honest. Before my son was born, I didn’t think much about how I’d keep golf in my life. I figured I’d figure it out. Then he arrived, and I realized that “figuring it out” was going to require a lot more coordination than I expected.

Here’s the thing nobody tells you about golf as a new dad: it doesn’t disappear. You just have to actually work for it now. And if you want to keep playing without your wife feeling like she’s carrying everything alone, you have to be intentional about it. Talk to her. Plan ahead. Earn it.

I’ve gotten out three different ways since he was born. None of them were perfect. All of them were worth it.

The 7:15 tee time.

My father-in-law plays golf. That helps. My mother-in-law came over to give my wife a hand, which meant I had a window.

I live close to the course so I left the house at 7:00, skipped the range, went straight to the first tee. My son had woken up early, fed, and gone back down by the time I left. That was lucky. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

But I also felt like I had to earn it before I walked out the door. Got up with him, handled the morning, made sure she wasn’t starting her day already behind. That’s the deal. You don’t just grab your bag and disappear. You put the work in first and then you go.

Twilight golf.

This one had some guilt attached to it.

I went out with a buddy for a twilight round and got home about 15 minutes after bath time. My wife did it all herself that night, the whole routine, solo. She was fine. She didn’t complain. But I knew, and that mattered.

Twilight rounds are genuinely one of the best ways to get golf in as a dad. You’re not taking a whole Saturday. You play fast, it’s cheaper, and you’re home for dinner most nights. But if you’re going to miss bath time, you better have had that conversation beforehand, not sent a “running a little late” text from the 16th green.

We talked about it ahead of time. She knew what the night looked like. That’s the only reason it worked.

The golf outing.

This one I put on the calendar before my son was born. Tentatively. I wasn’t sure I’d actually go.

After the first couple of weeks I felt out where we were. He was healthy. My wife was finding her footing. I brought it up, we talked through it, and she was good with it. There was a little negotiation involved. Not a fight, just a real conversation about what she’d need that day to make it work for her too.

It was a half day. I was home by early afternoon. Having it on the calendar that far out meant she could plan around it, not get blindsided by it.

That’s the whole thing right there. A blindside is a problem. A plan is just a plan.

What actually makes it work.

I’m not going to tell you there’s a perfect system. There isn’t. Some weeks I play, some weeks I don’t. The weeks I do are the weeks I was intentional about it.

A few things that have held up:

Talk to your wife before, not after. She should know the plan. Not because you need permission, but because you’re partners and she’s going to be covering for you while you’re out there hitting a seven iron.

Put in the work first. Get up with the baby, handle the morning, do your part. Then go.

Think about the cost in both directions. What does it cost you to go? What does it cost her? If she’s running on empty and you disappear for four hours, that’s a problem you’re creating. If she’s in a good spot and you’ve laid the groundwork, you’re probably fine.

Golf as a new dad is still in my life. It’s just on a tighter schedule now, and I have to be more deliberate about when I ask for that time. That’s not a bad thing. Honestly it makes the rounds I do play feel better.

If you’re trying to keep golf in the rotation as a new dad, subscribe below. I’ll keep writing about how it’s actually going.